Hey everyone!!!! Well, as I mentioned this morning, it is National Love You Body Day! I thought in honor of this day, I would share with you my very personal story of how I came to love and take better care of my body.
This pin was given to me by the Nurse at my College Health Center, it now hangs in my cube at work as a reminder!
Up until the age of 13 years old, I never really though much about my body. It was just there. I never worried about how I looked or whether I was thin or fat. It just never occurred to me, I guess. Once I entered Junior High, everything changed. Although, I never noticed, other people paid attention to my body. I was a VERY slow developer. A lot of the girls in my 7th and 8th grade classes looked like women…I, however, still looked just like a child.
That’s me all the way to the left in 8th grade (My bestie May is next to me…she is gonna kill me with all the old pics lately.) I look like a little kid right?! The other girls in my class made fun of me for not being as “developed” as they were and for other random things (apparently, I had a large bottom lip…the things kids focus on.). This was the first time I had thought about my body at all in any real way and the reason I was thinking about it is because someone else was telling me it wasn’t good enough. I became self conscious.
In High School, I remained pretty self conscious during the first couple of years. Like other teen girls, I wanted to be thin and beautiful. At the start of my sophomore year, my family was faced with some really difficult times. We found out that my older brother (and only sibling) had a very bad drug addiction- which he still struggles with today, 10 years later. This caused my family so much heartache. I remember just thinking how badly I felt for my mom and dad. They are honestly the best parents in the world, I felt they did not deserve what my brother was doing to them and our family. I felt so much pressure to make up for all the sadness and hurt he had caused them. I WANT TO SAY THIS PRESSURE CAME FROM WITHIN, NOT ONCE DID MY PARENTS MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY! To make up for his wrong-doings, I had to be perfect…nothing less, no arguments. As we all know, perfection is not reachable or sustainable. But, I dear you to tell my 15 year old self that. I HAD to get perfect grades, be a perfect child and be thin and beautiful. This is the first point in time I remember my obsession with my weight kicking in. For about 1-2 years, I surely took part in what some may call disordered eating. I wouldn’t say I was anorexic to the extent that people often think of it, but I did go days without eating much and would go to bed feeling very accomplished after a day like that. At one point, in the spring of my sophomore year, I was down to the mid to low 80’s weight-wise. I was also not very tall, so it is not as bad as you think. But, I was too thin and wanted to be thinner. I remember my friend Lauren telling me, “When I notice you are getting thin, I always know something is going on with you emotionally, so I make sure to check up on you.” She was right, not eating was the way I dealt with painful things. It made me feel like I had control.
Around the time I met Adam (15 years old), my parents had suggested I go to therapy to talk about the issues I was dealing with surrounding my brother’s addiction. Through that therapy I learned a lot about myself and how the pressure I put on myself was affecting me. I started to work on myself, but still had a long way to go. Luckily, I have the most supportive friends, parents and fiance. Adam was very helpful during this time in my life, sometimes I think he literally saved me life.
In college, I would go through bouts of feeling really unhappy with the way I looked and getting angry with myself for not being able to loose weight. I would cut portions way back at times, but would never actually go without eating (THANK GOD!) I went on all different fad diets to try to get weight off, of course none of them worked. I will note that all through high school and college I was a pretty heavy smoker. I was very addicted, but will say, the fear of gaining weight did play a roll in keeping me from quitting. Throughout all of college and after, I remained uncomfortable with my weight and convinced that I would so happy if I lost that extra 10 pounds. The obsession with my weight was pretty bad in the sense that, it was on my mind everyday. I would bet I could not go 3 hours without thinking about my weight.
About a year and a half ago, it was like I woke up. I decided that gaining weight or not, smoking was a bad choice I had made for far to long, and I quit cold turkey on Feb 23, 2007 and never looked back. After that I made a vow to loose the weight. My mind was never really in the right place, I ended up gaining about 15 pounds, which only made me more obsessed with weight and angry with myself. I actually HATED my body! I did some re-thinking and realized that I quit smoking to become healthy, why not just focus on getting healthy instead of getting skinny? I will admit, this shift in my thinking was not easy. This is when I began reading healthy living blogs , it helped me change my focus from the thin ideal to the healthy ideal. I used these people as role models and realized that the more I focused on being healthy, the more happy I became. I feel in love with running and realized how delicious and fun healthy food can be. And…want to know what?! Those addition 30 pounds came off! Did is make me amazing happy and the world all rainbows and butterflies like I thought it would? Nope! But, I am happier, because I have learned to treat my body right, and in return, she treats me right. We work together, instead of me working against her.
I will not say there are not days were I still struggle with body image (especially when my skin is broken out on my chin!) But, I have done A LOT of work on myself to get to a point where I can say, I LOVE MY BODY!!!! And really mean it 
I wanted to post this video made by Angela, it is great! I will admit, when I first saw it on her blog about a year ago, I cried. It is so powerful and I connected to it so much. I hope you do too!
So, in honor of Love Your Body Day, I am giving away some Helen’s Kitchen Coupons for 2 FREE products (what better way to show you body you love it than by feeding it yummy, healthy food?) . To win all you have to do is comment on this post with 3 things you love about your body, 3 things that amaze you about your body and 3 things you do to show your body you love it!!!! There will be five winners, you have until 10pm tomorrow!!
I will start:
Thing I love:
- My body never gave up on me even when I gave up on her, when I shoved garage in her and mistreated her and cursed her, she always stayed true to me!!!
- I love the freckle on my big toe on my right food, my dad had the same one, it reminds me where I can from.
- MY ROCKIN’ CURVES of cours!!! :)
Things that amaze me:
- My body allows me to run further, faster and stronger than I ever thought I could!
- My body never takes a day off. No matter how hard I make her work, it always keeps my heart beating, my lungs breathing and my brain moving! Thanks Body!
- I am amazed by the way my body can heal itself!
Things I do:
- Exercise
- Eat Well
- Give into her cravings (especially those for pumpkin ice cream!)
Ok your turn!!!
October 21, 2009 at 10:46 pm |
What a great post, I feel like I need someone to give me a giant push to start living healthy and I feel like this might be it.
My 3
Things I love:
My hazel eyes
The mole on my right knee, my doctor always talks about removing it but I can’t stand the thought of it not being there.
My hair.
Things that amaze me:
That no matter how much I weigh or how out of shape I am I have really strong calf muscles.
How fast my body reacts to working out…when I actually do. It doesn’t take long for my body to change if I continue working out.
That for the most part I don’t get sick *knock on wood*
Things I do:
I eat fruits and vegetables all the time
I stopped drinking 1% milk and switched to skim, doesn’t seem like a big deal but if you knew how much milk I drink you would understand!
I wear my seatbelt when I drive, a bike helmet when I ride my bike and I plan on getting a helmet for when I go skiing this year.
October 21, 2009 at 11:32 pm |
Thanks for telling your story!
Things I love:
My hair
My eyes
The scar on my back from having rods put on my spine.
Things that amaze me:
My legs are strong
My hair can be straight or curly
My tummy stays flat no matter my size
Things I do:
Balance the good and the bad foods
Do cardio often
Strength train
October 21, 2009 at 11:59 pm |
3 things you love about your body…
1. I have little ears and I think they look cute w/ small earrings
2. People assume I’m little and not strong, but I can prove them wrong and carry a heavy box. I do strength training; I lift weights!
3. Since I was a kid, I’ve always been muscular. I was embarrassed when I was younger but I’ve grown to love my athletic build.
3 things that amaze you about your body…
1. Every time I do a back flip, I am amazed that I use my ab and leg muscles to rotate backwards. I’m like a circus performer!
2. I tore several ligaments in my ankle but was able to take care of myself and push through discomfort in order to keep cheerleading (the sport I love)
3. When I eat healthy foods, my body looks and feels so much better. I can read nutritional info..but the physical proof is amazing!
3 things you do to show your body you love it…
1. I sleep, a lot! I make sure I feel well rested.
2. I take a few minutes after workout to rest and relax in the sauna. Gotta take time for my mental health cuz that effects my physical well being.
3. I eat well, balancing healthy and indulgent, so my body is always satisfied.
It’s taken YEARS and lots of struggles through college but I can finally say that I Love My Body!
October 22, 2009 at 1:51 am |
Thank you for sharing your story! I have had VERY similar childhood, so it’s always nice to know other people are going through the same things.
3 things you love about your body…
1. My upper body, it stays toned no matter what! I’m pretty lucky
2. My eyes are EXACTLY like my mom’s…and I love it.
3. I have a freckle on the palm of my hand. When I was little my dad would check my hands after I washed them and teased me that “I missed a spot.” Good memories.
3 things that amaze you about your body…
1. That even though I KILL it on the weekends with too many cheap shots and red cups of keg beer, it still loves me!
2. I randomly signed up for a race with my friend, a 10 K, and I had only previously run 2.5 miles. I finished in under an hour. Still amazed.
3. How it stays awake with me for long nights in the library.
3 things you do to show your body you love it…
1. Sweaty cardio sessions…good therapy
2. Eat as fresh as possible.
3. Get messages every-so-often for all of it’s hard work!
October 22, 2009 at 9:10 am |
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve gone through similar issues and still struggle to this day.
3 Things I love about my body:
1. My legs are strong and shapely
2. My small boobs don’t get in the way when I run
3. My lower back…I just like it.
3 Things that amaze me about my body…
1. I hardly ever get sick.
2. The fact that I can run and run and run
3. It lets me know when I overdo it with my workouts. It fights back and tells me to slow it down.
3 things i do to show my body i love it.
1. I eat a healthy diet and don’t poison it with artificial crap
2. I pamper it with massages
3. I stopped binging and purging. I stopped before I had any real long lasting bad affects from it.
October 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm |
I LOV this post, sad that I missed it yesterday though. But I’m catching up now. Thanks Ali for sharing. Women’s empowerment and self love is so important.
3 Things I love about my body:
1. My smile – I must say, it’s pretty awesome!
2. My boobs – they’re not big nor small, but I always felt peevish about them, but hey, they’re wonderful!
3. My shoulders – I feel sext when I show them off.
3 Things that amaze me about my body…
1. I’m certainly not the best runner or yogi but my body seems to just keep going when my mind wants to stop.
2. I have a rockstar immune system!
3. How it knows more than I do what’s good for me and what’s not. It’s taken trial and error for me to realize what I should or should not eat, or drink for that matter, because of my bodies reaction to it.
3 things i do to show my body i love it.
1. I hydrate it with LOTS and LOTS of H2O.
2. I have a healthy sexual drive, which in turn makes my body happy and makes me a happier more sane… I mean, whole person
3. I try to keep it moving even when I don’t have time to workout, like walking or stretching or sitting when necessary.
October 22, 2009 at 3:47 pm |
Al, I loved reading what you wrote. You rock!
Things I love about my body:
1. My long legs and arms – they used to make me feel self-conscious, but now I love how they look.
2. The muscular definition on my legs – I worked hard for it!
3. My curly hair. I can wear it straight, wavy, or curly. It’s pretty fun.
Things that amaze me about my body:
1. I am stronger than I realize. Sometimes I’m stunned by how far I can push myself physically, even with a chronic thyroid disorder.
2. The fact that I am the spitting image of my grandmother.
3. I am fascinated by how the human body works. The fact that I wake up each morning is by itself pretty amazing.
Things I do to show my body I love it:
1. Drink tons of water
2. Eat dark chocolate every once in awhile
3. Go to the endocrinologist and listen to my doctors
October 22, 2009 at 5:16 pm |
I was literally almost in tears reading this. Thanks for sharing.
October 22, 2009 at 6:09 pm |
great post and thank you for sharing your story. it’s amazing the pressure we put on ourselves, huh?
Thing I love:
-I have a long torso & though I sometimes feel like this makes my legs look stubby, it makes my middle look leaner
- My legs have the ability to run miles & miles w/o tiring
- I have strong abs and strong arms
Things that amaze me:
- My immune system is pretty awesome – I rarely get sick (knock on wood!)
- I have the energy to work out almost every day
- I actually feel more energized on fresh fruits & veggies!
Things I do:
* Work out
* Schedule regular dr.’s appts.
* Eat fruits/veggies daily
October 22, 2009 at 9:00 pm |
Oh my god we were SO TINY! I remember being in 8th grade and wearing my 2nd grade uniform skirt still HAHA!
Thanks for always being my Bestie
October 23, 2009 at 1:34 am |
[...] I am going to shower and them off to bed! Don’t forget you have about 30 minutes to enter my Love Your Body Day Giveaway!!!! Good Luck!! Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Back To Reality!The last [...]
October 23, 2009 at 3:12 pm |
[...] ready for the winners for my Nation Love Your Body Day giveaway? Let me first say, I loved reading your responses…all of you! They were all so different and [...]
October 23, 2009 at 3:20 pm |
such a wonderful post! i know i’m too late for the giveaway, but i will share anyway
Things I love:
my dark red hair
being petite but proportional
i like my nose/profile!
Things that amaze me:
the body’s ability to conquer viruses (such as the one whose ass i am whooping now)
how the body adapts to distance running
that i can eat basically what i want as long as i listen to my body’s cues, and i will stay the same size
Things I do:
rest when my body tells me to!
enjoy life! from delicious food to satisfying work to a hard-core run.
make real attempts to get in a good number of vegetables throughout the day
October 23, 2009 at 6:45 pm |
Ugh, how did I totally miss the post????? Dang it. Very brave of you to share that w/us.
November 18, 2009 at 6:33 pm |
[...] After a few months of dating Adam (about a year after I started smoking), he asked me to quit. I told him that he knew I smoked when we started dating and that I was not going to change for him. For years and years Adam would beg me to quit. When we got a little older his reasons changed from him hating the smell to the fact that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and didn’t want to loose me to smoking in our 50’s or 60’s. I still was unwilling to do the work to quit. My dad would also beg me to quit. He constantly pointed out how odd it was that I smoked it was so out of character for me, and he was right too! But, I was addicted and also the idea of gaining weight was SCARY AS HELL TO ME (which is a whole other issue that I touch on in this post). [...]
November 24, 2009 at 9:28 pm |
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January 5, 2010 at 3:58 pm |
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February 3, 2010 at 9:14 pm |
Wow I am just now reading this and I can relate to your story soooo much! As a kid I was always active and never cared about it until middle school. When I was 12 my parents checked my older brother into drug rehab and he was there for a year and a half. It was around that time that I became SO self conscious and always felt chubby. Without writing a novel I can absolutely empathize with you. I always tried to be the perfect child for my parents too!
I still struggle with body image and I hope to find a place like you have…just happy in my own skin. Thanks for sharing!
Also…how is your brother doing? If you ever want to chat pop me an email because I have been through it all when it comes to addiction. lilreese44@yahoo.com